Sunday, October 14, 2012

Sunday Funnies...

Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, "It could have been worse."
To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it.
On the golf course one day, one of them said, "Frank, did you hear about Tom? He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on himself!"
"That's awful," said Frank, "but it could have been worse."
"How in the hell," asked his bewildered friend, "could it have been worse?"
"Well," replied Frank, "if it happened the night before, I'd be dead too!"

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man. The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"
"Yes" says the woman.
"Did you hit him with that golf club?"
"Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.
"How many times did you hit him?"
"I don't know, six, maybe seven times... just put me down for a five."

Golfer: "Are there golf courses in Heaven?"
Fortune Teller: "I have good news, and I have bad news..."
Golfer: "What's the good news?"
Fortune Teller: "The good news is that Heaven's golf courses are beautiful beyond anything you could imagine!"
Golfer: "How could there be any bad news with that?"
Fortune Teller: "You have a tee-time at 8:30 tomorrow morning."

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