Little Johnny's father came to him one day and said, "It's time we had a talk about the birds and the bees."
Little Johnny replied, "Oh no! First you tell me there's no Santa Claus then to tell me there's no Easter Bunny. If you're going to tell me there's no such thing as sex, I'll have nothing to live for!"
A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a new 21 speed mountain bike. "Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300," he asked.
"Easy, Dad," little Johnny replied. "I earned it hiking."
"Come on Johnny," the father said. "Tell me the truth."
"That is the truth!" Johnny replied.
"Every night you were gone, Mom's boss, Mr. Reynolds, would come over to see Mom. He'd give me a $20 bill and tell me to take a hike!"
Dan and Will are on the beach, trying to impress the ladies when Dan say "I'm not having much luck with the women, Will."
Will gives him some advice by saying "Try putting a potato down your swim trunks. That's what I do, and the babes love it!"
Dan knew about Will's love life and agreed that he would try it to see if he could come close in matching Will.
They part and after several hours, Dan goes looking for Will to explain: "I tried the potato trick and I'm getting blown off worse than before."
After looking him over, Will said, "Uh ... try putting it down the FRONT of your trunks."