Sunday, February 3, 2013

Sunday Funnies...

For his final project in a statistics class, a student decided to conduct a survey. So it wouldn't be a boring project, he chose to find out peoples' favorite pastimes. The teacher required that he sample at least 100 people, so he started out his project visiting a fairly large apartment building near the university.
He knocked on the first door and a man answered.
"Sir, what is your name ?" ; asked the student
"John" ,
"Sir, I'm doing a school study and would like to know what is your favorite pastime ?"
"Watching bubbles in the bath," came the reply. He liked the esoteric answer and continued down the hall, until he came to the next door, when he asked again.
"Sir, what is your name ?"
"Jeff!" ,
"Sir, Would you please tell me your favorite pastime ?"
"Watching bubbles in the bath," was the answer.
Quite amused and confused he went on to ask a good number of people in the building and and all of them had the same pastime "watching bubbles in the bath".
He left the building and walked across the street where there were several row houses to continue the survey.
At the first house, he knocks and an attractive college girl opens the door.
Our surveyor starts again - "What is your name?"

A bright young man was walking down a road in his neighborhood and, as he walked past a red building with a tall white fence around it, he heard a crowd of people chanting "Twelve, twelve, twelve" over and over again...
Curiosity getting the best of  him, he tried to look up over the fence to see what was going on but it was too tall. Alas, he spotted a hole in the wood.
He put his eye to the hole. He had just managed to see some old people sitting on lawnchairs chanting when a finger came out of nowhere and poked him in the eye! As he staggered back, the old people began chanting, "Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen..."

A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.
"I can't do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."
"Okay, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station."
"Can't do that either, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."
"Alright, we could get a blood sample."
"Can't do that either, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die."
"Fine then, just walk this white line."
"Can't do that either, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm drunk."

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