Sunday, February 16, 2014

Sunday Funnies...

One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.

"Bubba, where'd you get that truck?!?"

"Bobby Sue gave it to me" Bubba replied.

"She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya,

but a new truck?"

"Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. Bobby Sue pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said,

'Bubba, take whatever you want'.

So I took the truck!"

An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida, 
his wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. 

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email, 
unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address, 
he did his best to type it from memory. 

Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an 
elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. 

When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, 
let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint, at the sound, 
her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen..... 



Here are some real beer warnings that have been found on beer bottles. 

1. Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. 

2. Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wanker. 

3. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. 

4. Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what happened to your trousers. 

5. Consumption of alcohol may make you think you possess mystical Kung-Fu powers. 

6. Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. 

7. Consumption of alcohol may lead to traffic signs and cones appearing in your home. 

8. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

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